60 Seconds with the Wood Lady

Five years after my parents divorced, my dad got pretty serious about a lady named Robbi and I thought I was going to have a stepmother.

As a 15-year-old kid, she seemed perfect for my dad. She was funny and smart. She could make the best pasta dishes ever.

And she was stunning.

As often happened with my dad's relationships, things didn't work out and I'm not really sure I know why. It could have been because Robbi was going to want children of her own (after Number 2 was born, my dad had the operation to ensure there would not be a Number 3). It could have been that my dad just had too much baggage.

Whatever the reason, Robbi left our lives without any fanfare.

Nearly 20 years have passed and she is still my favorite of all the women that my dad dated.

Now, I'm standing face to face with the last woman my dad dated.

She hasn't introduced herself but I already can feel that it is the Wood Lady.

I can feel it because outside of Number 2 and I, she is the saddest person in the chapel.

She's standing in front of me holding some tear-soaked tissues.

She is not at all what I expected.

She is old.

I know. It's not really fair to say that. But I've just seen every woman that my dad spent any considerable amount of time with and ALL of them appear younger than the Wood Lady.

It just keeps getting more and more interesting with my dad.

I ask her if she is the Wood Lady and she nods while trying not to cry again.

I give her a hug and I can feel some of her sadness drain out of her. She lives in Northern California and I know that she's been grieving by herself this last week. If she drove down this morning, it was at least a 5 hour drive.

"VW, I am so sorry about your father."

"I know," I reply.

"I just need you to know that we had a very special relationship and I loved him very much," said the Wood Lady.

How do I even respond to that? I've got a ton of questions but now isn't the time or place. So, I respond to only way I know how.

"Are you going to come to the reception?" (Could I sound any more stupid?)

"I'm sorry VW. I have to drive back home now. Just know that your father was so proud of you and never stopped talking about you and your family."

I could tell that she was about to make a break for it. It doesn't really dawn on me that this might just be freaky for her too.

"I have to go. Take care of that little one of yours. That's what he would have wanted more than anything."

I ask the Wood Lady to wait and turn to get the Commander. I have shown the Commander the emails that I've received from the Wood Lady and she is just as intrigued by this entire situation.

But when I turn back around, the Wood Lady is gone.

I go back to trying to get folks out of the chapel. The cheesy funeral guy comes up to me with a small canvas bag.

It has the logo of the funeral home on it.

"Here are all of your CD's as well as all of the cards that came with the flowers."

Unbelievable! They never told me that there was a gift with a purchase! Spend $12k on a funeral, get a free tote bag! Sweet.

"Is there anything else I can do for you today?"

Well...you could have spit out your gum before you announced where the reception was going to be. But I guess that is just a bell that can't be unrung now, can't it?

"No thank you."

I take the tote bag and begin to leave the chapel.

One mystery is solved today, I know what the Wood Lady looks like. But it appears as though I'm not going to find out about her relationship with my father.

Unless...I wonder if she is going to email me again?

VW