The Blind Email

It's really strange to go through somebody else's Outlook.

I had found probably a dozen email addresses in my dad's Outlook and I thought I should email those folks to let them know what has happened.

Here is what I sent out:

RE: Memorial Services for My Dad

I'm sorry if you are finding out about the passing of my father this way.

My brother and I decided to email his Outlook contact list to let everyone in it know that he passed away on Thursday, July 14th.

We will be having a memorial service for him on Thursday, July 21th at 11:00 a.m. at Rose Hills in Whittier.

It didn't take long for the responses to come in. Here's the first response:

Dear VW,
I don't know if your father ever spoke of me but my name is (the Wood Lady) and I am a friend of your fathers. I would like to extend my sympathy to your family for your loss. I cared deeply about your father and I will miss him more than words can express. He has been a very big part of my life for four years and I cannot even imagine what it is going to be like without him. He talked of your daughter the Chicken soooo often and he so adored her. He loved you two boys more than life itself. Just know that I loved him too. And he and I had a really special relationship and he was a wonderful man. Thank you so much for the information. God Bless you all.
(The Wood Lady)

Hmmmm.....that was interesting. Honestly, I had heard her name before but I've got zero clue on what was going on between her and my dad. I'm going to have to follow up with a response later.

But before I could, a couple additional emails came in too. Like this one:

Thank you for the invite to the service, for your very well liked and respected father. I knew him for over 30 years. Of all the days, in my very quiet retired life, that I am bound to be at a hearing in Nevada, it all falls on July 21, 2005.
May God Speed.

If God speeds, can somebody pull him over a give him a ticket?

I received one more email response. Here it is:

Dear VW:
Hi, So sorry to hear about your Dad. Our sincere condolences to you and your family. Thank you for the information regarding the services. I have a question about the dress code for the funeral. As you know your dad always wore Hawaiian shirts and we were wondering if we could wear a Hawaiian shirt to the service. I think your dad would have smiled to see us dressing like him. If you think it would be inappropriate or offensive to the family please let us know. Thank you. Hugs, Mamahoney.

Two immediate thoughts popped into my head. First, people over 55 should not be allowed to pick their own AOL screen names. Second, what to do about Hawaiian shirts?

The emailer was right. My dad's wardrobe had consisted of mainly Hawaiian shirts for at least a couple of decades. Dad was going to be wearing a Hawaiian shirt. Anyone else that wanted to wear one probably should too.

In fact, I think I should probably wear one too.

Hawaiian shirts really aren't my style (not that I have much of a style) but it would be a nice way to pay a little tribute to my dad. I'm going to have to go out and get me one.

It didn't take too long to realize that I wasn't going to get any additional responses and I was okay with that. I felt like I had done what my dad would have wanted me to do.

I do think I may have opened up a can of worms with the Wood Lady. I could feel empathy coming from the other emails but the Wood Lady email had something completely different in it. Something that I had become pretty well acquainted with over the last five days.

The Wood Lady couldn't have empathy for my loss because she was grieving her own loss.

Who are you, Wood Lady?

VW