Here's where the story ends
It's time.
It's probably been time for a while but I didn't want to admit it.
This documentation of my journey through the loss of a parent has been such a positive outlet for me.
And I'm going to miss it.
But it is time.
I had three goals when I started writing all of this down.
1. Capture these thoughts so my children would know a little be more about me.
2. Possibly help someone else that is going through something similar.
3. To keep from exploding.
I know that there are a few more stories that I could tell but none of them serve any one of the three goals I've listed above.
So this will be the end of "You Are Out Of The Will" as I know it today.
I know that there have been a few of you that have been with me for a while. I thought I'd end it by sharing with you where some of the characters in this story have ended up today.
The Wood Lady
She recently visited my dad's parents at the River. She enjoyed being able to take a close look at the memory book the Commander created. She cried with my grandparents and my grandmother took the opportunity to give her a little of the Word (if you know what I mean). My grandmother told me later that my dad was about to break things off with her. I wonder if her grief would be different if she knew that. No point in telling her now.
Gidget and Moondoggie
They are still living in the duplex that my brother and I inherited. I stopped by to see them a couple of weeks ago but nobody answered the door. I gave them a $250 Home Depot card because I know that they pay for a lot of stuff that they probably shouldn't. Moondoggie's dad died not long after mine. I couldn't deal with that funeral. It was too soon for me.
Tripper
The best decision I made last year was to not rent my dad's place to Tripper. He had told me at the time that he was moving back east in a month and only needed a place to stay for a few weeks. When I went by that neighborhood last month, I saw him driving around in his car. That would have been a nuisance that I would have never escaped.
Fat Kathy
Haven't heard from her at all. I'm okay with that.
The Commander and her side of the family
Everyone is doing well. We'll be having Thanksgiving at our new house this next week. The Nerdle won't be in town for this one but she is threatening to come clean our garage out during the Christmas holiday.
The Commander is recovering well from delivering Pancake. No baby blues yet (keep your fingers crossed). She has been nothing short of amazing.
The Rabbi
He's back from Israel and working as a rabbi now. He and his wife just had a baby boy too. I'm glad that they are close by instead of halfway around the world.
Number 2
Of all of the changes that can be directly attributed to the death of my father, none make me happier than this one. Number 2 has completely turned his life around. He's going to transfer to a Cal State school sometime next year and pursue a teaching career. The transformation is nothing short of amazing. Now, if he would only get a haircut.
The Chicken
Is now 3 going on 13. I can already see that we will be butting heads for the next couple of decades. She is fiercely independent and just as stubborn as me. She's smart, funny, and charming. I think it may be a lethal combination for me. I love her more than words can express. She's the best.
Pancake
Does what two week old kids do. Poos, pees, eats, and sleeps. There is something a little strange about Pancake.
He looks like my dad.
It will be interesting to see how he turns out.
Me
For the most part, I'm okay. Work is good. Home is good. And I've discovered a voice that I can write in that can make others laugh and cry.
I'm especially pleased with that.
I recently put this blog into a Word document to get a sense for how much I had written here. I couldn't believe that it was 70,000 words. Enough people have given me the feedback that this has been an interesting read to make me want to explore another vehicle for this content. I'm not sure if I'll make this a screenplay or a short novel but I am going to take a look at what options might be out there.
Before I go, I want you to know that I have so appreciated being able to share this with you. I am so thankful for all of the feedback. I especially loved being able to talk to some of you about this experience. I hope that you enjoyed it and if you are part of "the club," I hoped it it helped you in some way to know that what you are feeling is shared by someone else.
There's one more person that I should probably thank.
Dad, I miss you today as much as I ever have. I thank you for all of the life lessons that you took the time to teach me. I know now that so much of what you did was driven by your love for your children. Thank you for doing the best job that you could possibly do.
Your number one son,
John
It's probably been time for a while but I didn't want to admit it.
This documentation of my journey through the loss of a parent has been such a positive outlet for me.
And I'm going to miss it.
But it is time.
I had three goals when I started writing all of this down.
1. Capture these thoughts so my children would know a little be more about me.
2. Possibly help someone else that is going through something similar.
3. To keep from exploding.
I know that there are a few more stories that I could tell but none of them serve any one of the three goals I've listed above.
So this will be the end of "You Are Out Of The Will" as I know it today.
I know that there have been a few of you that have been with me for a while. I thought I'd end it by sharing with you where some of the characters in this story have ended up today.
The Wood Lady
She recently visited my dad's parents at the River. She enjoyed being able to take a close look at the memory book the Commander created. She cried with my grandparents and my grandmother took the opportunity to give her a little of the Word (if you know what I mean). My grandmother told me later that my dad was about to break things off with her. I wonder if her grief would be different if she knew that. No point in telling her now.
Gidget and Moondoggie
They are still living in the duplex that my brother and I inherited. I stopped by to see them a couple of weeks ago but nobody answered the door. I gave them a $250 Home Depot card because I know that they pay for a lot of stuff that they probably shouldn't. Moondoggie's dad died not long after mine. I couldn't deal with that funeral. It was too soon for me.
Tripper
The best decision I made last year was to not rent my dad's place to Tripper. He had told me at the time that he was moving back east in a month and only needed a place to stay for a few weeks. When I went by that neighborhood last month, I saw him driving around in his car. That would have been a nuisance that I would have never escaped.
Fat Kathy
Haven't heard from her at all. I'm okay with that.
The Commander and her side of the family
Everyone is doing well. We'll be having Thanksgiving at our new house this next week. The Nerdle won't be in town for this one but she is threatening to come clean our garage out during the Christmas holiday.
The Commander is recovering well from delivering Pancake. No baby blues yet (keep your fingers crossed). She has been nothing short of amazing.
The Rabbi
He's back from Israel and working as a rabbi now. He and his wife just had a baby boy too. I'm glad that they are close by instead of halfway around the world.
Number 2
Of all of the changes that can be directly attributed to the death of my father, none make me happier than this one. Number 2 has completely turned his life around. He's going to transfer to a Cal State school sometime next year and pursue a teaching career. The transformation is nothing short of amazing. Now, if he would only get a haircut.
The Chicken
Is now 3 going on 13. I can already see that we will be butting heads for the next couple of decades. She is fiercely independent and just as stubborn as me. She's smart, funny, and charming. I think it may be a lethal combination for me. I love her more than words can express. She's the best.
Pancake
Does what two week old kids do. Poos, pees, eats, and sleeps. There is something a little strange about Pancake.
He looks like my dad.
It will be interesting to see how he turns out.
Me
For the most part, I'm okay. Work is good. Home is good. And I've discovered a voice that I can write in that can make others laugh and cry.
I'm especially pleased with that.
I recently put this blog into a Word document to get a sense for how much I had written here. I couldn't believe that it was 70,000 words. Enough people have given me the feedback that this has been an interesting read to make me want to explore another vehicle for this content. I'm not sure if I'll make this a screenplay or a short novel but I am going to take a look at what options might be out there.
Before I go, I want you to know that I have so appreciated being able to share this with you. I am so thankful for all of the feedback. I especially loved being able to talk to some of you about this experience. I hope that you enjoyed it and if you are part of "the club," I hoped it it helped you in some way to know that what you are feeling is shared by someone else.
There's one more person that I should probably thank.
Dad, I miss you today as much as I ever have. I thank you for all of the life lessons that you took the time to teach me. I know now that so much of what you did was driven by your love for your children. Thank you for doing the best job that you could possibly do.
Your number one son,
John
posted by JVW at 10:56 AM
2 Comments:
VW--I feel as if we've completed an important journey together, you about your father and me, most immediately, about my brother--but about my dad, too. I'm thankful for finding your journal and for the way you've touched my life.
Best always,
~Ann
Very sweet.
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