Get the Message Right - Part two

I spent the time in traffic wondering if I should really try to see this plaque.

I didn't call ahead of time.

I don't know if this plaque really exists.

I have a long time to think about this.

I'm afraid I'm going to get there and look like some freak.

I get to the parking lot and my dad's old work looks pretty much the same on the outside as it did 20 years ago (the last time I've been here).

I open the door and it is completely different. Instead of a large and open office, it feels like I just walked into a check cashing place. I'm in a small room behind bullet proof glass and I can see the office staff behind the class.

Why am I getting so nervous right now?

A cute hispanic girl with short hair smiles at me and I can barely hear her say "Can I help you?"

It takes me too long to get my story out. She looks confused.

"My dad used to work here. He died last year. I heard that there was a plaque up here honoring him. I'd like to see it."

She turns to another member of the office staff and asks if she's heard of this plaque.

The other office staff member just says "That guy died last year."

The cute girl that was trying to help me says "Yeah. That's his son right there."

The other office staff member makes eye contact with me and covers her mouth. I tell her that it's okay.

I get invited back into the office.

I feel like people are starting to freak out that I'm there.

They bring me back to a guy in the office that is probably in his late 40's. I introduce myself and he tells me how much he liked my dad.

I ask him if there is a plaque up hanging up here to honor my dad.

He tells me that there isn't.

I'm an idiot. I'm a fucking idiot.

Why did I come here and my a jackass out of myself? FUCK!

These people are going to tell my dad's friends that I did this. And those people are going to tell my grandparents.

I just want to get out of here and go to the cemetery.

The guy I was talking to asks me to leave my phone number with the office manager in case anything comes up.

I give the office manager my new phone number while she tells me how much she enjoyed working with my dad.

While I'm doing this, I can feel everyone in the office starting at me.

All semblance of normal office activity has now stopped.

One guy in his early 50's comes out of his office to see what is going on. He stares at me while I'm talking with the office manager.

He looks like he has just seen a ghost.

I look up at him and he looks afraid. After what seems like an eternity, he says something to me.

"VW, when you are done there, could you step into my office for a minute?"

"Of course." I respond.

He disappears back into his office.

I have no idea what he wants to talk to me about.

I just want to leave.

VW