A Tomb with a View - part three
Number 2 and I are led back into the "arrangements center" and our guide leaves us with his condolences and lets us know that another sales counselor will be with us shortly to help us with the decide on the memorial services.
It only takes a few minutes before she arrives. The sales counselor is probably ten years older than me and she offers her condolences with a detached coolness and a pinch of genuine concern. It's JUST enough to make you think that your situation might be special.
When head back to her office (which looks an awful lot like the previous office we where in) and begin to play a whole new round of Death Madlibs.
After 15 minutes of questions, the topic once again turns to how much we want to spend on the funeral and the memorial services.
It's a subject that continues to be a touchy one for both Number 2 and I. We know that our Dad wanted zero spent on this. He often said that he would like to be taken out to the desert with a beach chair, a bottle of good scotch, and a shotgun if we ever found him close to death.
It was clear that we weren't getting out of there without dropping a chunk of change, that's when I told her that we wanted to be as frugal as possible.
She then shared with me that they did have some "economic" offerings and proceeded to pull out a small pamphlet for my review. I flipped the pages and really couldn't believe what I was reading.
It was the death equivalent to the Extra Value Meal at McDonald's.
We had four choices - Economy ($6k), Heritage ($7k), Signature ($8k), and SkyRose ($11k). My dad's wish of us not spending any money had pretty much vanished.
Number 2 and I looked at the packages and decided pretty quickly on the Heritage package. The Heritage package locks you into a choice of three or four caskets but our counselor pointed out an issue with this caskets. My dad was a pretty big guy (bigger than me for those of you that know me) and because of his size, we were going to have to pay more for a casket then we otherwise would have.
This really WAS like an Extra Value Meal...and we were going to Super Size it.
With Number 2 and I keeping with the mantra - "spend as little as possible," the counselor began to present our options.
"This casket is $500 more than this one but there is an issue with the more economic casket. If you choose the more economic casket, we will not be able to place your father's arms at rest. They will be crossed."
Something about how she said this immediately angered me. Was she telling us that our father wouldn't be at rest because we wanted to go with the cheaper casket? I was stunned and it felt like hours before Number 2 broke the silence.
"Look. Will you guys be able to put him in this casket, close the lid, and bury him?"
Now it was the sales counselor's turn to be stunned.
"Why, yes. Of course we will."
"Than that's the casket we're buying."
Number 2 had not said a whole lot over the course of the last two days. It was almost if he was saving up for that moment. All of the anger that had suddenly built up within me disappeared in an instant.
There was few other things to take care of - Who was going to be the officiant at the ceremony? Who would write the obituary? What did we want to put on his grave marker?
But there was one question that we definitely did not know the answer to.
"How many people are you expecting to attend your father's services?"
Number 2 and I looked at each other with the same blank expression.
We honestly had no idea.
It could be anywhere from 30 to 300 people.
And then I started to get a little nervous. What happens when you throw a memorial service and nobody shows up?
My dad had retired suddenly from his job at the end of February. I don't know the whole story but I do know that he was forced out after 39 years of service. He never told me but it did hurt his feelings quite a bit....until he realized that he was going to make more money in retirement than he would of if he stayed at his job. Someday, I'll find out the whole story. I'm not ready to hear it now.
We told the counselor to plan for 300 at the services and 150 for the reception. It was going to be on a Thursday and not every one can leave work for something like this.
Finally, we were ready to talk about payment. I was familiar enough with my dad's assets to know that paying for this wasn't going to be an issue. But we hadn't spoken with my dad's attorney and we didn't want to touch his accounts yet.
For some reason earlier this summer, I had applied for and received a new BofA Visa. I hadn't used for anything so we decided to put all of the charges on that.
There's something very strange about maxing out a credit card with a five digit credit line on a single purchase.
As the counselor ran the credit card, I had a flash of what my dad would have said in a situation like this.
"It's only money."
VW
It only takes a few minutes before she arrives. The sales counselor is probably ten years older than me and she offers her condolences with a detached coolness and a pinch of genuine concern. It's JUST enough to make you think that your situation might be special.
When head back to her office (which looks an awful lot like the previous office we where in) and begin to play a whole new round of Death Madlibs.
After 15 minutes of questions, the topic once again turns to how much we want to spend on the funeral and the memorial services.
It's a subject that continues to be a touchy one for both Number 2 and I. We know that our Dad wanted zero spent on this. He often said that he would like to be taken out to the desert with a beach chair, a bottle of good scotch, and a shotgun if we ever found him close to death.
It was clear that we weren't getting out of there without dropping a chunk of change, that's when I told her that we wanted to be as frugal as possible.
She then shared with me that they did have some "economic" offerings and proceeded to pull out a small pamphlet for my review. I flipped the pages and really couldn't believe what I was reading.
It was the death equivalent to the Extra Value Meal at McDonald's.
We had four choices - Economy ($6k), Heritage ($7k), Signature ($8k), and SkyRose ($11k). My dad's wish of us not spending any money had pretty much vanished.
Number 2 and I looked at the packages and decided pretty quickly on the Heritage package. The Heritage package locks you into a choice of three or four caskets but our counselor pointed out an issue with this caskets. My dad was a pretty big guy (bigger than me for those of you that know me) and because of his size, we were going to have to pay more for a casket then we otherwise would have.
This really WAS like an Extra Value Meal...and we were going to Super Size it.
With Number 2 and I keeping with the mantra - "spend as little as possible," the counselor began to present our options.
"This casket is $500 more than this one but there is an issue with the more economic casket. If you choose the more economic casket, we will not be able to place your father's arms at rest. They will be crossed."
Something about how she said this immediately angered me. Was she telling us that our father wouldn't be at rest because we wanted to go with the cheaper casket? I was stunned and it felt like hours before Number 2 broke the silence.
"Look. Will you guys be able to put him in this casket, close the lid, and bury him?"
Now it was the sales counselor's turn to be stunned.
"Why, yes. Of course we will."
"Than that's the casket we're buying."
Number 2 had not said a whole lot over the course of the last two days. It was almost if he was saving up for that moment. All of the anger that had suddenly built up within me disappeared in an instant.
There was few other things to take care of - Who was going to be the officiant at the ceremony? Who would write the obituary? What did we want to put on his grave marker?
But there was one question that we definitely did not know the answer to.
"How many people are you expecting to attend your father's services?"
Number 2 and I looked at each other with the same blank expression.
We honestly had no idea.
It could be anywhere from 30 to 300 people.
And then I started to get a little nervous. What happens when you throw a memorial service and nobody shows up?
My dad had retired suddenly from his job at the end of February. I don't know the whole story but I do know that he was forced out after 39 years of service. He never told me but it did hurt his feelings quite a bit....until he realized that he was going to make more money in retirement than he would of if he stayed at his job. Someday, I'll find out the whole story. I'm not ready to hear it now.
We told the counselor to plan for 300 at the services and 150 for the reception. It was going to be on a Thursday and not every one can leave work for something like this.
Finally, we were ready to talk about payment. I was familiar enough with my dad's assets to know that paying for this wasn't going to be an issue. But we hadn't spoken with my dad's attorney and we didn't want to touch his accounts yet.
For some reason earlier this summer, I had applied for and received a new BofA Visa. I hadn't used for anything so we decided to put all of the charges on that.
There's something very strange about maxing out a credit card with a five digit credit line on a single purchase.
As the counselor ran the credit card, I had a flash of what my dad would have said in a situation like this.
"It's only money."
VW
posted by JVW at 8:03 AM
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